


Thunderstorms

by YourLastSuprise



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Rain, ryuji is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:42:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24581758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourLastSuprise/pseuds/YourLastSuprise
Summary: Its raining outside and Ryuji can't help but get lost in his own thoughts
Relationships: Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 4
Kudos: 98





	Thunderstorms

Ryuji could hear the rain hitting the ground outside in showers, the quiet noise of the leaves rustling in the wind. He could also hear his boyfriend, sleeping peacefully next to him. The blonde looks up at the ceiling, trying to find something to look at up there, something to distract him from his own tears falling down his cheeks. The room feels suffocating, the air feels thick and crushing, and Ryuji blinks back more tears forming in his eyes. He doesn’t know why he's crying, but the tears keep flowing and his chest feels so tight and he's slowly and slowly feeling like he might be dying- his thoughts are cut off by thunder, it's loud and it feels like it echoes in Ryuji’s ears. Everything is so loud. He breathes in sharply, turning over quietly to look at Akira. Ryuji is so happy to have him, but sometimes it feels like he doesn’t deserve him. His eyes scan the other boy’s face, lighting strikes outside. He looks at Akira’s hair, dark and fluffy, he likes to play with it from time to time. He wants to run his hands through it now, but then Akira would wake up, and he’d ask what's wrong. Ryuji doesn’t know what's wrong. Maybe everything is wrong. 

Ryuji quietly shuffles closer to Akira, he smells like coffee. 

It’s comforting.

Ryuji can feel a sob forming in him and he lets it out, it sounds weak, pitiful, defeated. Everything he doesn’t want to be. But its true isn’t it? He’s weak. He’s a delinquent. He’s a bad son. He never makes anything easier on his mother, he loves her so much yet always fails her. His dad was right, he always has been. 

Ryuji is weak. 

Akira shifts, and Ryuji bites his lip. He’d feel horrible if he woke Akira up. 

There's only a moment of peace in his brain before his thoughts are racing again. The rain is getting worse outside and the thunder continues to roar, loud and demanding. He will never escape his failure. He can never truly let go of his past, as much as he wants to. His limp will forever be a reminder of how he betrayed everyone, how he messed everything up. He knows it's not his fault, not entirely, but he can’t shake off the guilt hanging heavy over his shoulders. 

Kamoshida still haunts him. And he despises it. 

He feels like he’ll never be good enough. He shouldn’t be a Phantom Thief, he doesn’t deserve it. All the others were stronger than him. Even if he acts like he doesn’t care every time Mona hurls another insult at him, the others know it hurts him. He’s not good at hiding it. They all brought something new to the battle, something that hits hard or helps the team's strategy, but what did Ryuji do? 

The rain might be letting up. 

He doesn’t think anyone really likes him as much as they say they do. 

Ryuji can’t blame them.

It's always his fault. 

It’s getting really windy outside. The leaves are louder than ever, but it seems like the storm reduced to a small shower. 

Ryuji sometimes likes to sit on the roof, his legs dangling over he edge, his head in his hands. 

A reminder of sorts.

A reminder that he’s alive, and he can be dead in the next second. But he can’t do that. He won’t ever let himself fall. As much as he’d like to be plummeting through the air, eyes squeezed shut and arms out ready for impact, he’ll never let himself do it. 

He’s holding on tightly to Akira’s shirt. It's grey and soft in Ryuji’s grip. He can feel his own hands shaking, and knows he’s going to wake the other up. He can’t do anything right. He can’t even sit still and be quiet.

Ryuji feels selfish.

“Are you okay?”

Akira’s voice is soft, gentle. Ryuji could sit and listen to him talk for hours, though it was normally the other way around. Ryuji exclaimed about a new movie or game, talking about every little detail while Akira sat and listened. Akira didn’t mind it, he actually really enjoyed it. Ryuji always got really into it, waving his arms around and making sound effects as he described a building blowing up, or something along those lines. 

Akira has his hand on Ryuji’s back, his finger tracing circles in an attempt to calm the other down.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.” 

Ryuji didn’t deserve him. He was too nice, too perfect. 

“I just need to know you’re alright, okay?” 

He normally would hate getting talked to like this, it made him feel worse, as if he was a sad puppy for people to look at and feel bad for. It's different when it's Akira though. He can’t describe it, but he knows Akira understands. 

“It’s late.” 

Akira had lowered his voice a bit, now only a little bit over a whisper.

“Yeah.”

  
Ryuji replied for the first time, his voice was shaky and raspy.

“Do you want to talk about it tomorrow?”

“I’m sorry for waking you up.’

The rain stopped completely.

“You can wake me up whenever, don’t feel bad about it.”

Ryuji looks up at Akira, and he reaches over to touch his hair. 

“I love you, Akira.”

“I love you too, Ryuji.”

Ryuji pecks Akira on the nose and Akira chuckles quietly.

“Goodnight.” 

Ryuji feels a little bit better knowing he has someone to talk to when he wakes up.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading


End file.
